Mysterion Prophecies
by The-Girl-Dressed-In-Nightmares
Summary: After Butters is taken to an alternate dimension by Cthulhu, Kenny must suit up as Mysterion and team up with Toolshed, The Human Kite, and The Coon to travel into another dimension, while learning about a dark prophecy that could change Kenny's life forever.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

"Hey cutie pie, you sleep well?" An all too familiar voice whispered in my ear soothingly. I smiled and rolled over. Butters Stotch smiled over me. "The best I have in weeks. I always sleep better knowing I'm with you." Butters smiled and pressed his velvety lips against my cheek.

It was early spring in South Park, and I was sleeping over at my boyfriend Butter's house. His parents let me sleep over every few weeks (they were just glad he had a friend) and my parents barely ever noticed if I was in or out of the house.

Butters and I had been dating for almost 6 months. We had told all of our friends about our relationship (except for Eric Cartman) and they all appreciated and encouraged us. It started after I travelled with Butters from Hawaii.

His parents told him about his Hawaiian heritage, and he and I went so he could have his hapanoa to control the intense anger he was having at the time. On the night we flew back to South Park, I walked Butters home.

"Hey Kenny, could I ask you a question?" He asked me nervously when we made it to the doorstep of his house. "Sure Butters, what's up?" I said thoughtfully. "Well…I just wanted to say I really appreciate you coming with me to Hawaii. You're the only kid who I think would have come after the way I treated everyone. You're really sweet and awesome, so I was wondering…would you go out with me?"

I would have thought the last kid Butters would ever go for would be the kid who smokes cigarettes in the park after school, sneaks playboy magazine in his schoolbooks to read in class, and sniffs glue during art class.

I wanted to say no, but it would be impossible for me to turn down sweet, innocent Butters. "Sure Butters, I'll pick you up on Sunday." Butters tried to hide a huge smile with his hand. "O...o...ok…see you Sunday." Butters rushed inside his house. I could hear him cheering through the door. I grinned and walked home.

Butters and I went for hot chocolate that Sunday. We spent the whole day together talking. The only other time I really spent with Butters other than Hawaii was when he was comforting me after I passed out after a bad drug trip sniffing cat urine. To be honest, I don't even know Butters that well.

"My parents don't know I'm gay," He told me while we were sitting on a park bench. "I hear them talk about me a lot…keep saying they're hoping I don't turn out a homosexual so they don't have to kick me out of the house." I put my arm around him. "I know what it's like to live in a homophobic family. I'm bi, and my Uncle came out last year and my Dad shunned him. He curses every time someone says his name.

I'd be out on the streets the second my parents caught me kissing a boy." I looked down at my shoes. "You can probably tell my parents don't exactly go out waving gay pride flags." Butters hugged me and smiled. "I'm glad we're friends Kenny."

I felt warm, like I was being wrapped up in a blanket and given a cup of tea. When he let me go, I felt cold and hollow.

I hung out with Butters every day for the next month. Stan and Kyle thought something was up. Cartman thought we were dating. After a while, things started changing. Little things like his smile, his laugh, the way he talked, the way he moved became so fascinating.

I cherished every moment we were together, and missed him and thought about what he was doing when we were apart. Did I have a crush on Butters? Did I…love him? We hung out at his house after a month. We were doing homework, and that was when I decided something needed to be said.

"Butters," I choked on my words. "Okay, plan this out carefully Mccormick," I thought to myself. "Don't just spit it out, ease your way into it." "I'm in love with you." I blurted. "Way to ease your way into it douche." I groaned to myself.

Butters went pale. "You do?" He asked nervously. I started sweating like a pig. "Yeah. Yeah I do." Butters beamed. "I-I love you too Kenny." He glowed. "I have since Hawaii." My heart pounded in my chest. I tried not to run around the room cheering. I took a deep breath. "So what should we do know?"

I asked calmly as I could. Butters kissed me on the cheek. "How about we forget the homework for tonight and have a little one on one time if you know what I mean." I let out a small yelp. "Yeah, I think I know what you mean." "Good." Butters said, standing up. "Let's go watch some TV." I face turned as red as an apple. "Um, yeah of course," I said awkwardly. "That's what I thought you meant."

…

I kissed Butter's nose and saw that he was lying in a sleeping bag right next me. "Why didn't you sleep in your bed?" I asked him. His parents would have shot me on sight knowing we were laying that close to each other.

"Once my parents fell asleep, I rolled my sleeping bag out next to you. I sleep better knowing you're right next to me. Plus I've been hearing noise under the bed and I wanted to make sure a monster wouldn't come and bite your head off while you were sleeping." I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Butters," I said, pushing his hair aside. "What would I ever do without you?"


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

"What do you want for breakfast?" Butters asked me while putting on his clothes. I zipped up my orange parka. "I'm think I'm in a waffle mood today." "I was just about to say that-""COON AND FRIENDS ALERT! COON AND FRIENDS ALERT!" An alarm blared cutting off Butters. Our superhero group was calling us. Butters went to turn the alarm off.

"Uh oh, looks like breakfast is going to have to wait," Butters said. Me and Butters along with our friends Stan, Kyle, Token, Timmy, Bradley, and Clyde were all apart of Coon and friends, a group of superheroes.

Butters used to be a super villain until he decided to turn to the side of good. ("I'm getting tired of thinking up new ways to take over the world," Butters told me during a Coon and friends meeting. "I want to fight on the side of justice")

He went from being Professor Chaos to Captain Energy. "I left my Mysterion suit at home," I said to Butters. "Tell Coon and friends I'll be a little late." "No worries Ken, I'll cover for you." I kissed Butters on the cheek. "Thanks, see you later."

…

I arrived home to my parents arguing about god knows what in the living room. I walked right past them and remained unnoticed as always. I opened my bedroom door and walked over to my dresser. I opened it up and pulled out my Mysterion suit and put it on.

My friends don't know this, but unlike them I have a superpower: I can't die. If I ever get shot, stabbed, or decapitated, I always wake up the next morning unscathed and in my bed. Some people may think it's a gift, but I don't. It's a curse.

Imagine getting up every single day after dying and to have to go to school where no one remembers you being shot the day before, no matter how hard you try to convince them it happened, even though they saw it happen with their own eyes. Imagine the feeling of getting shot, run over, decapitated and having to live with the pain the rest of your life.

I can't even convince my own boyfriend that it happens. Every night before I go to sleep my pray and pray for the curse to be lifted, or at least have someone remember that I die. I pray that someday someone will ask me "Whoa Kenny I saw you die yesterday. Are you okay?"

But no. That's never going to happen. I'll just keep waking up after a brutal death that my friends witnessed then go to school like nothing happened for the rest of my life. I put on my Mysterion outfit then headed over to Cartman's house.

…

"Dude, why do you have batteries all over you?" Stan (Aka Toolshed) asked Butters when I opened the basement door of Cartman's house. Butters definitely had the most bizarre costume out of all of the members of coon and friends. He was dressed in a suit made of cardboard cover in dead super glued batteries. He had on a bike helmet with a lightning symbol on the front.

"I'm Captain Energy Stan. I have the power of emitting power to nearby objects." Kyle groaned. "Mysterion, why are you late?" He asked me. "Sorry Human Kite," I said in my best Christopher Nolan Batman voice.

"I was sleeping over at Butter's house and I didn't bring my costume." "What'd you two do last night, make out while watching the notebook?" Cartman (Aka The Coon) ridiculed from Stan's old dog cage.

Cartman used to be the titular Coon of the group, until he betrayed us and tried to take over the world after an oil company drilled a hole in the moon unleashing Cthulhu whom he eventually trained. He was to be imprisoned for life, or at least until he got too big for the cage.

"Shut up fat boy," I snapped. "It's none of your business." I sat down at the table with my fellow superheroes. "What news is there for us today Bradley?" Token (Aka Tupperware) asked Bradley (Aka Mintberry Crunch) who was appointed the new leader of the group after discovering he had superpowers and banished Cthulhu into the other dimension.

"Nothing for today Tupperware," Bradley said triumphantly. "I've taken care of a lot of major crises going on lately. Not to brag, but I've gained a lot of notability over the last couple of months." He pulled out a framed newspaper clipping of himself saving a family from a burning building.

"My mom was so proud of my recent act of heroism she framed the front cover of the newspaper." "How cool is it that we have a hero with actual powers siding with us Kenny?" Stan asked me. "Yeah, it's pretty cool Stan." I said, trying to hide my annoyance that there wasn't just ONE person with superpowers in the room.

"How about we take a day off and watch a movie?" Bradley suggested. "Good idea Mintberry crunch." Clyde (Aka Mosquito) said. "I'll go make popcorn." I said getting up from the table. "Thanks Mysterion, while you do that I'll tell you all how I saved a boat from sinking last week..." I rushed out the basemen door before Bradley could tell the story and headed into the kitchen. I looked in the cupboard for a popcorn bag and found one behind a box of crackers.

I set it in the microwave for two minutes. "Are you okay Kenny?" A voice said from behind me. I sighed. "I'm fine Butters." Butters came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, forcing me to turn around. "Don't think for a second you're fooling me, what's the matter?" I pinched the bridge of my nose in slight annoyance. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

I've tried telling Butters more times than I can remember about my immortality. But every time he just rolls his eyes and says it's getting old even after I shoot myself in the head trying to get him to believe me. "Kenny, is this about your superpower again? Because I told you that it's okay to make believe sometimes but-"

"I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP BUTTERS!" I hissed. "I've shot myself in the head 20,000 times to try and get you to believe me. I thought that you'd actually think I hadn't lost my mind like Stan and Kyle. I thought you were different!" "Kenny, calm down. You're scaring me." Butters voice started trembling.

"There isn't any possible way you could just die every day without some explanation." My turned my hands into fists and felt anger bubbling inside me.

"I KNOW THAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT!" Butters eyes started to well up with tears. I unclenched my fists. What the hell was wrong with me? "Butters…" "No Kenny, its fine." Butters sniffed a tear rolling down his face. My heart sank.

Butters walked over to the basement door with his head hanging low. "I am such an asshole," I thought to myself. Butters was too good for me. He shouldn't have to put up with my drama. It was my fault for being so upset.

"Guys, we got to get outta here now!" Kyle burst through the basement door. "Dude, what's going on?" I asked with worry in my voice. "I'll explain later, we got to go!" Kyle ran over to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me out the front door. I was immersed in the sounds of screaming people, trampling each other trying to get away from…something.

"Kyle, what the hell is happening?" Kyle pointed a quivering finger up at the sky. My throat sank to the pit of my stomach. There stood before us the one thing that could destroy us all.

Cthulhu.


End file.
